Presencing in Mutuality – a Paradoxical We-Space Practice

The Presencing in Mutuality practice is a structured We-Space practice involving two individuals. It is “paradoxical” in that although in outer form it seems to be focused on both the individual and a deep enfoldment of one-with-the-other, this practice reliably and consistently transcends both each individual and the specific individuals involved in the practice.

It was created during a 7-day retreat in May 2019 at the request of one participant who, in response to other We-Space practices, wanted to go more deeply into specific personal issues and the experiences arising from them. Its initial form, which arose from this, and the one which is illustrative of all other forms, is the Presencing Embodiment in Mutuality practice:

The Presencing Embodiment in Mutuality Practice

Two individuals sit with eyes open at a comfortable distance facing one another. After a short moment in silence this 30 minute practice consists of three segments of ten minutes, each split into two 5 minute parts. Each segment is physically identical in structure. Ideally use a 5 minute repeating timer, or restart the timer immediately after each segment.

Segment 1a

(5 minutes)

One partner (“Partner A”) commences by asking the other (“Partner B”) some variant of:

“What are you experiencing right now as Source energy moving as deeply as possible into embodiment?”

Choose language which is comfortable for the individual being asked, powerful and as free as possible of specific limiting concepts. “Source”, “Spirit”, “Divine Soul”, “God” and “Existence” for example could be considered interchangeable.

The other partner commences by briefly describing their immediate experience with words. Stay in the moment, avoid interpretation, changing or trying to fix. Minimize stories or anecdotes from the past – what is shared does not even need to make sense. The questioner listens as if this were also his or her own experience and then, during the first 5 minute segment, both partners simply flow back and forth speaking as Partner B’s experience, both using the first person “I” to describe it.

When the timer goes off, restart it immediately and whoever is speaking simply stops or finishes their sentence, and then the partners change roles.

Segment 1b

(5 minutes)

Partner B also asks Partner A some variant of the same question:

“What are you experiencing as Source energy moving as deeply as possible into embodiment?”

Partner A may continue the same thread or may move into a quite different aspect of experience and both Partners flow back and forth in speaking, using the first person to speak as Partner A (“I am experiencing …”)

Segments 2 and 3

This passing back and forth of roles continues two more times, with both partners speaking from inside the experience of one or the other.

The practice simply completes after these three segments. Partners may optionally spend some additional time together in silence or sharing, though the practice itself is complete.

Although all three segments of this practice are identical in physical structure, the paradoxical nature of this practice has already been mentioned: with each shift from one partner to the other and back the experience has been found in almost all cases to transcend the individual experience (after a few rounds one often has to think for a moment whether it is about oneself or the other); and although the meeting with the other feels deep and intimate it at the same time becomes more and more impersonal and transcendent.

Some notes: avoid interpretation, even and especially when it is blindingly obvious. Gently touch and move on. Avoid trying to fix or change anything; and avoid holding on.

Presencing in Mutuality

The more general case of this practice simply replaces the initial question and focus (“What are you experiencing right now as Source energy moving as deeply as possible into embodiment?”) with another. It needs to be something which is equally relevant to both partners (so not e.g. one partner’s specific work situation) and could be an inspiring or problematic physical location or person, a concept (e.g. “work”) or a transcendent quality (e.g. “what are you experiencing as light?”)

– Stephen M. Marcus, Ph.D. – August 11, 2019